Messages ae support

Ah’ve had some messages ae support frae leaders across the wurld – ae, even frae Edinburgh. (Mary Doll – ah dinnae mean the messages ye get frae Lidl, hen!)

Kim Jong-Il: On ye go, big man – oor worker’s republic is behind ye a’ the way wi rice production at 199% and the Great Helmsman wishes ye well!

Fidel Castro: Dinnae ye fash, comrade – hae’ a cigar and viva la Speaker!
Osama Bin Laden: Dinnae let thon infidels drag ye doon, big man! If they want a jihad, then gie’ it tae them, ya radge!

Josef Stalin: Jings, ah thocht ah wis deid! Ah weel…oan ye gae, comrade, an’ carry the flamin’ torch o’ the revolution oanwards oan behalf o’ the wirkers o’ the wurld!

Adolf Hitler: Jings, ah thocht a wis deid an’ a! Nivir mind, dinnae gie’ in man, it’s guy easy tae lose faith when ye’re hunkered doon in a bunker, but there’s a’ways sumthin around the corner! Jist ask yer pal Gordon – he’ll ken whit ah mean!

George W Bush: Mah fellow Americahns, ah think ye should stick wi’ the Sherrif o’ Springburn, an ah’ ken whit it means tae hing oan tae the bitter end even when naebody likes ye!

Gordon Brown: Noo, Michael…ah dinnae think ye’ve goat much o’ ah chance likes, but yer’re like ane o’ them human shields an’ if ah let ye go then ah winnae hae onyone else tae take the flak….ye’re no gonnae clipe oan me or tell onyone ah’ve said this, are ye….

Noo, on tae part twa o’ mah cunning plan. Ah’ve jist telt them a’ that ah’ll stand doon in a wee bittie. But ah havnae said when a wee bittie will be!! If ah can jist haud oan tae the week’s end then that’ll dae me tae the summer an’ a’body will hae firgotten by the time thon auld bisom opens the next Parlyment….ah’ll still be there, ye ken, at the top o’ the golden trough! There arenae ony flies oan Michael Martin, ah’ll tell ye that fir free!

Ah'll jist hae a wee think aboot whit ah'm gonnae say, before ah hae a wee blether wi' Gordon...